Heartbreak Survival 101

At some point in our lives, we experience heartbreaks. There are a lot of causes for this, but I'm referring specifically to heartbreaks caused by a failed romance. It's usually extra hard on those who are being left than those who initiated the breakup. It would be tough, yes, but there is something that you can do to help ease the pain a little bit.

1. Cry it all out. Right after the breakup, there is this numbing feeling, and you'll be in some kind of denial. There'll be a lot of question like, “is this really happening?” or “If I do this or that, will it turn back to what it used to be?” After a moment, the reality that it is so over seeps in, and that is when the tears starts to fall, and you can't seem to stop the flow. Don't. Just cry it all out. Mourn until there are tears no more.

2. Talk to a trusted friend. It would be a very big help to express your feelings to someone. You'll be surprised that you'll feel that there is some weight that is lifted from your shoulders after you've let out everything. Be honest of your feelings. The friend need not comment about it. Sometimes, all we need is just a sounding board.

3. Avoid going to places where you've had your significant moments with your ex. After a breakup, one tends to remember that certain moments in the relationship happened when you hear a certain music, or you pass by a particular place. If it can be avoided, don't go there just yet. Being reminiscent won't do you good at this point in time.

4. Keep yourself busy. Go to school. Try a new approach in your job. Travel. Try new things – a new haircut, a new dress ( just be careful not to over spend- it will cause another heartbreak), or a new hobby. Try anything that can occupy your mind.

5. Give it time. For the first and second months, you'll be thinking of the other person for almost 20 hours a day (that is minus the few number of hours you were able to sleep. For the third and fourth month, the thinking time will go down to about ten hours a day- right after you wake up, in-between meals, during meals, and right before bedtime. By the fifth month, its going to happen when you hear your theme song on the radio, or when you pass by the place where you've had your first date, and before going to sleep. By the sixth month, you'll be thinking of the other among other things before going to sleep. By the seventh month, you'll be thinking of someone else. OK, there's no specific timetable here, but that is how it went with mine. The healing time usually depends on how deep (or shallow) the relationship was.

6. Learn your lessons. Have a clear perspective on what made you decide to call it quits. If you are on the receiving end, identify what caused the change of heart of the other. Do you need to improve something about yourself? Or did you let go of that relationship because it was already unhealthy for both of you? We can all learn something through our experiences. Often, we tend to remember the lessons more if the experience was a painful one. But one realization is for sure: That you are a stronger person than before because you were able to come out on the other side in one piece. Scarred, yes, but still in one piece.

Find yourself. Go soul searching. Don't go on a rebound. Love yourself. Learn to let go. There maybe things for you that are far greater than what you've dreamed of.